“It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
Cuz every now and then I kick the living shit outta me” –Lit, “My Own Worst Enemy”

I guess I shouldn’t even be surprised.

It was my fault for unloading all of my issues onto the HR guy who simply asked how things were going. I could’ve just told him the default “fine” or maybe “it’s going good”.

It was my fault for trusting HR guy when he said he’d have my back. Because HR people have obligations to the company as well.

It was my fault for openly complaining about the P-Box test. I could’ve just kept my mouth shut and done what they told me to do. Keep running laps and try to improve my score, even though I consistently gave them mid-to-high 80s every lap.

And it was my fault for not listening to HR guy today when he said I have a problem taking direction and taking advice as criticism. (Even though R. and them literally critiqued my driving, but whatever.)

So here I am, unemployed and looking for a job. Again. Why should I even be shocked at this point.

I guess here is the part where I do the classic “here’s how we got here” move.

It all started at the end of the day Monday. After I got home that afternoon, I got a call from a guy in HR, just wanting to see how things were going since it was the start of my 3rd week. I don’t know what triggered it, but I basically unloaded all of my issues on the guy. I told him about the lack of training. Getting yelled at for walking into the wrong garage. All of it. He said he was sorry I was going through that and that he’d look into every issue I told him about. I pleaded with him to not let it get back to me because I just started the job and wasn’t trying to ruffle any feathers. He reassured me I had nothing to worry about.

Wednesday morning (I stayed at home Tuesday, since R. said I didn’t need to come in), I showed up to work like normal. But my badge didn’t work on the security gate. Security guy at the booth got on the phone, calling whoever, trying to figure out the issue with my badge. I pulled my car off to the side of the gate and immediately called the HR guy. He said he tried to call me again Tuesday night but I didn’t answer. I told him my phone had ran an update during the night, so I didn’t even receive his call. He said the reason my badge didn’t work is because R. decided to let me go. Wait…what? I don’t even get to plead my case? To show them my worth? HR guy cut me off. Told me to not raise my voice at him (I wasn’t). Told me to just listen to him (gee, that sounds familiar). Told me to just head home or security would escort me off the premises. Geez, dramatic much? So I told the security guy goodbye and headed home. I called HR guy as soon as I got home. He told me I need to pull it together and that I have a hard time taking direction and that I have “impulse control issues”. Okay…? Is that why R. just let me go and didn’t even tell me to my face? Apparently, yes. HR guy said we need to consider reassigning me. To where? How long will that take? How soon will I be working again? He yelled at me. Told me he doesn’t have any answers but will let me know the next day. Then he hung up.

Which brings us to today. I called HR guy and he explained that the company has decided to not reassign me and let me go instead. He again explained that I have trouble taking direction and started giving me advice. I explained that I don’t take kindly to a grown man talking to his employees like they’re his children. He cut me off and said I wasn’t listening to him and that we weren’t talking about R., we were only talking about me. I calmly explained that I was simply giving him some context as to why things happened the way they did. And before I could say anything else, he ended the call. I angrily threw my phone onto my bed.

So. What’s the lesson here? Your boss’s word is law, no matter what. And if they make you do something you hate? Deal with it. Sometimes I really need to just keep my mouth shut.

Thanks for reading.

Song of the Day: Run The Jewels – No Save Point (Cyberpunk 2077 OST)

Damn it I can’t leave, Night City keep calling me.